‘In at the Deep End’ by Kate Davies

At the center of ‘In at the Deep End’ by Kate Davies is Julia: a former ballet dancer turned civil servant, living in London and newly determined to reenter the world of sex after a three-year dry spell. What starts as a self-reclamation journey soon turns into a whirlwind exploration of queerness, kink, and non-monogamy.

The book sets out with a bold premise: a sex-positive, feminist, and often funny story with strong LGBTIQ+ and polyamorous representation. It offers a rare portrait of a queer woman figuring things out in her thirties—messily, publicly, and with no shortage of awkward moments.

And yet, for all its good intentions, the execution is uneven. The depiction of lesbians leans into odd caricature at times—enough to make me double-check whether the author was queer herself (she is). BDSM is reduced to oversimplified dynamics and becomes more problematic than empowering. Julia’s main partner—and almost all non-monogamous characters—are framed as manipulative or toxic, which undercuts the broader themes of liberation and choice. And some of the humor veers into casual homophobia, which feels out of place in a book marketed as affirming and inclusive.

A messy, provocative read with moments of insight and wit—but one that ultimately mishandles the very communities it aims to represent. And the only reason I'm reviewing it here at all is because it's trying to break down the taboos surrounding non-monogamy and kink.

CW: toxic and emotionally abusive relationship, misrepresentation/stereotyping of BDSM and non-monogamy, casual homophobia, gaslighting/manipulation, substance use