‘Tengo miedo torero’ by Pedro Lemebel

‘Tengo miedo torero’ by Pedro Lemebel (English ‘My Tender Matador,’ translated by Katherine Silver, German ‘Torero, ich hab Angst,’ translated by Matthias Strobel) is set in Santiago, Chile, in 1986, during a time of political turmoil under the dictatorship.

The story is told from two points of view: an aging nameless queer person, who is trans and/or gay. She isn’t interested in politics at all and prefers to listen to old love songs. Then Carlos enters the scene: young, attractive, politically active. He uses her house for ‘study groups’ and to store ‘books.’ And she pretends to believe him.

The second point of view: Augusto Pinochet, Chile’s dictator. The city is filled with protests against his dictatorship. His wife annoys him. He suffers from nightmares.

Their paths cross in a maybe not so surprising way.

Originally published in 2001, this book was a groundbreaking queer story. I particularly liked the ambiguous identity of the queer character, which probably reflects how others perceived her. The German translation uses feminine pronouns to refer to her, but others refer to her as ‘uncle’ or use masculine pronouns.

CW: state violence, queerphobia & transphobia, misogyny, sexual coercion, alcohol abuse, emotional manipulation & loneliness, torture & executions (discussions)